My Selfish Post

This is a totally selfish post, but I feel like I need to reach out and ask for more specific prayers.Earlier this week I posted a photo on my Facebook of a very small pencil and yellow crayon in a 4 year old's hand. This sweet little girl attends Mercy Foundation Academy across the street from Mercy Children's Home. On that day we were just hanging out in the office at the school and she had come in to see us. She pulled out her book to show us how she could write and color. I saw her writing on the paper, but didn't see her pencil, upon further investigation I saw just how tiny her pencil was. Then she showed us how she could color...she sat her dot of a crayon on the paper and pushed it back and forth with her finger. In a very unexpected way this hit me hard. Just the day before I had seen pencils for sale for 5 cents, but yet her family couldn't afford to get her a new one. So I'm in this small room with about 15 other people and I just want to cry for her, for her situation, for her Momma who knows her daughter needs a new pencil, but can't afford to replace it. I want to cry because honestly before that moment I just assumed all the kids had what they needed for school. I can't even tell you how many pencils I have had my own kids throw away because they were "too short" and they were much longer than hers.

A few days after this we met and talked to a group of street boys. During the time we were talking to them I could see the filth on their clothes, the sadness in their eyes, their shoeless feet, the glue that they are constantly inhaling to avoid feeling hunger pains and their extreme need for a loving home. If you haven't seen my post on Facebook about this you might be thinking these are all older teen boys, but you are wrong, these boys range from 7 to 13...let that sink in for a minute. 7, 8, 9 and 10 year olds living on the streets of Bungoma not knowing where their next meal will come from, not having clean clothes, not having shoes to protect their feet from the hot ground and not having a place to shower and wash the dirt off of their young bodies. Again this situation leaves me heartbroken, as a Momma leaving these boys on the street is so incredibly hard. They need a home.

In a previous post we told you about Robai, a young girl who we briefly met at the youth conference in Sang'alo shortly after we moved to Kenya. Something about her just spoke to my Momma heart while we were there. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I had snapped a few pictures of her and returned to look at them frequently. About a month later we learned from Calistus, the pastor at Sang'alo church, that she needed a home. He sent over a picture of her and I immediately said "I know her!". This week were able to return to Sang'alo, while we were there we visited the school there and were able to meet and talk with Robai and her Grandmother. Both her mother and father have passed away from AIDS, she is HIV positive, she lives with her Grandmother, Victoria, who is widowed and Victoria can't actually afford to provide proper food for Robai. While we were visiting Robai we noticed that she had some small bumps on her arms and face. When we inquired about theses bumps we were told that because of her condition, when Robai doesn't eat fruits and vegetables every day she gets these all over her body. That absolutely broke my heart. I can't imagine being her Grandmother and knowing that Robai NEEDS fruits and veggies, but not being able to provide that for her. As we were talking to Victoria she said "if we can take this girl it would be a big blessing"...my eyes welled up with tears because that is A LOT of love to have to allow her to go and live at the children's home just so she can have her basic needs met. Robai was able to go and eat lunch with us and we able to buy her a bag of fruits and vegetables to get her through for a few days. Again I had to walk away and leave another child in a bad situation. I am so thankful that she has a house to sleep in and a loving Grandmother to love and care for her, but that just isnt enough for Robai. Sweet Robai needs to be at Mercy Children's home now, but it isn't ready for her.

So how is this post selfish? I need prayers that my heart can keep taking hit after hit and still hold up. It is hard knowing that we will have a place to take in kids, but not yet because we still need a good bit of money to finish building Mercy Children's Home. It is so incredibly hard knowing that small children are sleeping on the streets, small children literally beg for scraps of food and gladly will take your leftovers. It is hard knowing that children in school are writing with pencils so small that you can't even see it once they wrap their tiny hand around it to write. Please pray that I will be patient. Deep down I know God has this and I know God didn't bring us to Bungoma to build two-thirds of an orphanage. I know that in time all the kids at Mercy Foundation Academy will have the proper supplies needed and uniforms that aren't riddled with holes and tears. Please pray for my attitude. I try to be happy and upbeat, but deep down I'm struggling with the home not being done yet. I need this home done so we can start helping these kids instead of just knowing about them. Honestly I could care less about having a home for us, this is about helping kids who need to be in a better situation. What good is it to know about all these needs without action to help fix the needs? Lastly, please pray that I will "be still and know". I need to be still and know that God has us right here with an unfinished children's home for a reason.