Deep thoughts

The last few days have been a whirlwind. 2 unexpected deaths, 2 funerals to plan and 100 different emotions to deal with. Josephine lived about 45 minutes from us and while the roads aren't the best the drive out there let's me clear my head a bit. Something about the wind in my face and sun beaming down on me or watching the clouds roll in is calming. I can think about nothing or everything, talk to God or go over the 100's of things I need to get done. Even when we get caught in the rain it isn't so bad.

Before moving to Kenya I had never planned a funeral, but death and funerals are so different here (or they seem to be). It seems like everything starts happening at once and it just snowballs. Everyone wants something from you, yet you don't even want to be making these decisions. Then there is always some sort of family dispute which puts things in limbo. Each day the funeral is delayed means 2 things for sure; more requests and more money.

It is very hard to estimate how many people will come to the funeral because one doesn't have to actually know the family to attend. So while we may be having a funeral for a small baby that most people didn't know, I'm told to prepare for MANY to show up. In Kenya when you have a funeral you feed everyone even if you don't know how many people to feed.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't overwhelmed. I am, I'm completely overwhelmed by all the decisions to make, the drama involved, the love that is being sent to us from all of you and I'm especially overwhelmed that God would pour peace over me like He has. To know me is to know I'm a *bit* high-strung, but for the most part that hasn't been me over the last several days.

Thank you for your prayers, love, encouragement and support. I've not once felt alone in all of this which tends to happen to me. Sounds kind of silly since I live in a home with 100ish other people. I can rest knowing Wayne's heart is whole and he is with Jesus. No more struggling, no more pain. 💜

Sweet, sweet boy, you will forever be in my heart and my baby boy! 💙💔💙