Overwhelmed
Near to me - by I Am They
You can have my heart, I will rest in You
And my darkest night will be bright as noon
I am filled with hope and I will not fear
When I lose it all, I know You come near to me
So come near to me
I'm super loving this song right now and I'm listening to it A LOT. I've had a really rough month, I got super sick, probably the sickest I've been in a long, long time. Not really sure what was going on...likely a virus that my body couldn't kick and it took over, then malaria wanted to jump in on the party. My blood work didn't look good at all and it has caused me to be such a slacker during one of our busiest months. I hate letting others down and I feel like that's all I've been doing this last month. I literally didn't have it in me to do much at all. The last couple of days is the first time I've really felt normal since just a few days after Christmas 😮.
The last several days I've just been overwhelmed, totally overwhelmed. I try really hard to be real and open without "dumping" on y'all. This life isn't easy, while I'm completely blessed to be here and absolutely love our life, it isn't always easy. While I trust God and His plan I'm still very much human.
The other day I was on my way to town and I was thinking about the amount of money we get sent monthly to run Mercy Ministries. 😮 I was blown away by the amount of money I was adding up in my head. I was honestly thinking "No...no way!" but yes, God does actually provide SO much to keep this place going. I've always heard that things are inexpensive in Africa. We've been here just over 3 years now and yes, it is cheaper than America in many ways, but it isn't free. We are also no longer a "normal" sized family either. 100-something living here and an additional 60ish attending school, 35ish employees...it is a lot and it isn't cheap and He keeps providing over and over again. Not only has He been providing daily needs, but the school has come so far. At this time a year ago we didn't have 1 completed class. Now we have 8 classrooms, a giant kitchen, a teachers' office and a nearly completed pavilion. 😮 God has provided for us in such an overwhelming way. Sometimes I can't even believe it. Yes, the school is expensive, but many of the children at our school wouldn't be in school if it wasn't for your donations. I can't imagine not being able to send my children to school because I didn't have the money.
The other side of that, that is overwhelming to me lately is the "needyness" of us. If I'm being totally honest with y'all, I usually hate posting our needs. I hate it because it seems constant...can't we just not need something this week? I hate it because part of me feels like we should have expected "that" and planned for it. I hate it because it is almost never a small amount. I wish it was just a $20 need here and there. I hate it because it is never ending...without realizing it I signed up to ask other people for money for the rest of my life! 🤦🏻♀️ Our needs have been what feels like over the top lately. In some ways I feel like I should apologize when asking for money. I honestly feel bad sometimes for asking.
The school...the school is by far the hardest thing we've ever done. I'm so overwhelmed by the provisions for this school. God has provided over and over again. We are beyond what I actually thought we would be for this school year. Jeff and I fully believe that it was part of His plan for us to open this school and He continues to guide and provide for it over and over again. We have many broken hearts that come to our campus and our prayer is that they would hear the Gospel here and believe in Him. We've been blessed to have another ministry, Education in Christ, come alongside us and help train our teachers and help them teach all subjects from a Biblical worldview. We believe that this will have an impact on so many. God has provided for this school in so many ways I'm overwhelmed with the way He has provided for Mercy Christian Academy in the last year.
Thank you for hanging in there with us! We are a lot, we are needy, we do ask for a lot, but we are also trying to follow His will for us. Ultimately that's why we ask, we feel like He has called us here and asked us to do these things. Thank you for being part of the work being done here and thank you for trusting us. We pray that it is a blessing to you to pray, give and share the Kingdom work being done here.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28