It's Not Lost on Me

We've been in a baby boom over here. If you are having a hard time keeping up with our fast-paced life, we've taken in 7 babies over the last 8 months. We fully believe that babies are a blessing, all of them, no matter what..."full stop" as we say here in Kenya. If you follow us on Facebook you know we LOVE babies and are excited to be able to love on each one of them. Of these 7 new babies 4 of them were malnourished, 2 of them severely, and 1 of them extremely so; the worst case we have seen to date. So while we celebrate and love, love babies, it's not lost on me that tragic situations have unfolded in order for these babies to need to be here.

Babies left by the river and passed by because they are so "sick" is tragic. Tiny babies whose lives are in danger because the Mom and Dad are related, distantly or otherwise, is horrific. Babies whose Mamas have been taught that they have to have a "husband" to survive, but the newest husband doesn't want kids that did not come from him, so Mama drops baby off with her elderly Grandmother and moves on is such a heartbreaking thing for Mama and baby. Overwhelmed grandmothers, who are often widows, raising too many grandkids because of very broken families, poverty, and an extreme lack of education isn't fair to the grandmother, child, mother, or father. Mentally disabled girls who are quietly raped who can't care for a baby on their own is full of tragedy. Please, please don't be quick to judge and say "I would never", while that is probably true, you haven't had the same life experiences as these situations. You haven't lived in a culture where these things are normalized or walked the same trauma without a support system, without any mental health resources, without a safety net, or without help from a friend or family member. Life before and after Kenya has taught me to try and put myself in the situation before jumping to "I would never!" You think you know how you would do things until the reeling experience is forced on you, then it becomes very, very different.

There are so many things about my life now that I simply do not understand. It is so hard for me to look at our beautiful children and know that someone wanted to kill them, someone wasn't able to feed them enough to sustain them, someone didn't want them because they don't share the same DNA, or someone dropped them off at the river and left them to die. When I look at their sweet little faces and their beautiful, big, brown eyes I can't imagine making a choice like that or feeling like I HAD to make a choice like that. Sometimes as I'm up at night feeding a sweet baby (or 2 or 3), anger pours over me...how could anyone want to hurt this baby? How could someone not want this sweet baby? As I watch Zari flash her sweet smile, sing her favorite song, and snuggle up with Caitie I can't imagine missing out on her life. When I see Liam thriving, smiling, and making bonds with others, I know his birth family is missing out on this amazing blessing. My brain can't make it all make sense and honestly I'm glad. Life here can be so hard and cruel, it is a different world compared to Texas where I lived and grew up before Kenya.

We will always celebrate babies, toddlers, teens and all ages in between no matter their circumstances. We always try to improve their quality of life, teach them about Jesus, depend on God to provide, but it isn't all fun, smiles, and giggles. These are very real situations, real tragic stories, and real lives that will forever be changed, mine included and none of this is lost on me. I'm not living in some sort of "La-la land" where everything is perfect. There are many late night discipline issues to talk through and work out, many conflicted feelings children have to work through about being here instead of with their biological family, questions of what happens after living here, and lots of big feelings to sort out.

While the tragedy isn't lost on me neither is the privilege and blessing that it is to be here. I am very aware that it takes a lot of prayer and financial support to keep what God started going. Our needs seem to increase by the day, but God is using many of you to meet those needs and we are so grateful and thankful for that. It is a blessing to our kids to know that they have a team of people, many who they've never met, that love and care for them. Thank you for building into our kids and helping them get an education, helping them learn that they have options, teaching them that village life isn't the only life...life outside of the village is so very different. Because of your prayers and financial support we are able to expose them to so much that our village never sees. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Please continue keeping our ever growing family in your prayers and enjoy the overload of baby pictures!