Yet Not I, but Christ in Me

Sunday...it's a day that always leaves me knowing there is so much more to do. It has me asking questions in my own head and to our team. It has my mind reeling with different ways to solve the issues of the many children and families I see that day. In many ways it is such a blessing to see so many coming to church and hearing the Gospel, however, feeling some of the weight of their burdens is so very hard.

Sunday we had 550 people at church, plus our Mercy Home family. That puts us at over 650! Jeff does an amazing job presenting the Gospel and navigating a congergation full of children each week. He's really gifted and patient in this area. We do not have "children's church" so all the kids are under the pavilion hearing the word preached. It actually isn't as chaotic as you would think, but it has to be distracting on some level.

During church we had a large overflow area under our mango tree. It is huge so it provides lots of shade, but didn't help much when it started raining. Everyone under the tree had to quickly shuffle into a nearby classroom to stay dry. We need to do something to have more room for church. As we are talking through what next, getting estimates, and discussing with our board will you pray that we would come to the correct conclusion and that funds would be provided quickly? Our quick fix answer is to build more benches, but we aren't expecting it to fix all of our problems.

As Dottie and I passed out plates of food to 550 people we had kids (and adults) come through shoeless, nicely dressed, sick, dirty, happy, cheerful, barely dressed, solum and on and on. It wasn't all bad, it never is, but so many had visible signs of struggle and that hurt my heart. I grew up where the outside looked "perfect" but inside of me there was always massive struggle, so to see the struggle breaks my heart because I know there is more struggle that we can't see.

And it all leaves me feeling defeated. I want to swoop all of these kids up and make their lives better. I don't want them to ever be hungry. I don't want them to ever be sent home from school for day or weeks at a time because their family owes $1 they can't afford. I don't ever want them to feel bad because they don't have shoes that fit or all they have is a very used nightgown to wear. I don't want them to sleep on a dirt floor because their family can't afford mattresses.

But really defeated is good for me because it reminds me that I can't do it all. I am not enough. I'm not Jesus. And then there is peace resting in Him, trusting in Him, knowing He will show me what he wants and He will make a way if it is His will. Please keep praying for the work here, with all we have going, there is still more work to do.

Yet not I, but Christ in me!