When the Bad is Good

When the bad is good…you are probably thinking “What’s that even mean Stephanie? How is bad actually good? Do you have too many kids? Do you need a break?” 🤣

No, no, no…I’m good, better than I deserve actually! The more I trust Him, the more I walk with the Lord, the more I try and lay down my ways and follow His, the more I accept that I can’t, but He can, the better I am! It is kind of like John 3:30 is true! “…He must increase, but I must decrease." There needs to be so much less of me and so much more of Him. Any other way and I get in the way, I mess things up, I make it about me. He is greater than I, always.

That is just how God works. Many of y’all know my life has been hard, many would characterize at least parts of it as BAD and honestly for years I did too. I’ve wrestled with big, big challenges coming from my past. I’ve wondered why a good God would allow those bad things to happen. But, over and over again God reveals His goodness and His goodness shows me that my whole life has been good! God has always been faithful to me.

But what about the abuse? But what about the dysfunction you grew up in? What about the drugs and alcohol you grew up around? What about having a difficult marriage? What about losing your Dad to suicide? What about that sweet baby who needed major heart surgery, but he died before getting it? What about being rejected by family because others couldn’t understand your love for children and following God’s will? What about the kids who rejected you and walked away? What about losing your precious Mama to Dementia while she was young? What about your miscarriage? What about the difficult relationship with your son and what others would call a “failed adoption”(Q, I’ll love you forever, no matter what!)? What about all of those hard times shortly after you moved to Kenya? What about very difficult teens from very difficult backgrounds?

Some of those very scenarios I wrestle with at times today. Sometimes in my flesh I want the answers and the whys. But mostly I just know that the “bad” is truly good. I really don’t have all the answers for all of that, probably never will, and the beauty is that I do not have to have all the answers. I just need to trust the One who does have ALL the answers. Not having to have the all the answers should be a huge weight lifted off of my chest and it is, when I am fully trusting that.

But really are all of those bad things good? Yes, good, really good, because the Lord allowed those things to happen to me FOR me. The Lord saw those things fit for me. He used those things to draw me closer to Him, to give me heart for others, to make me a protector of children, to cause me to love deeply, to allow me to see He is what I need, to teach me to never give up, to show me that He is a good father, to teach me that I can trust Him at all times, especially when it feels bad.

Two Bible verses come to mind when I think about the bad being good. The first one is a verse that I often keep on repeat in my brain because it keeps me anchored. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” For those who love God (that’s me!) He works ALL things together for good…that proves that the bad is good IN HIM. Even when it is hard and difficult there is purpose in that. Even when it feels like I am waiting forever, even when I am not seeing results, even when I feel defeated…He has purpose there and He will use it for His glory. The second verse is Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Trust Him with my whole heart AND do not trust my own understanding. His ways are higher and better, so I should trust Him. My simple mind cannot possibly understand the ways of God…I am too simple, He is far too grand for the simple to understand. But I know that I can trust Him even when I am not understanding, even when I am not getting my way, even when I feel like I am placed up against a brick wall, God can and will still use it and He can work it out in ways that not only I can’t, but in ways that I never could have asked for nor understood.

So the good news is that God is and always has been in control. No matter how much “bad” we walk through, no matter how impossible things seem, no matter the size of the mountain or the depth of the pain we are walking through, He will see you through and there will be good! Of course I am talking to my own heart here…good will come out of this because God is in it and in complete and total control of it. When the world says He won’t give you more than you can handle they are wrong! He won’t give you more than HE can handle. God has it all under control for us, for our good, and for His glory!